July 31, MRI and plastic surgeon today

Had a appointment for a breast MRi today, ofcourse they could not get a vein so they had to put a pik line in, after they tried to get a vein like between my fingers, needless to say that sucked, and did not work, so they had to get the ultra sound and do a pik line on the inside of my inner right arm, 3 and a half hour later the MRi was done, the pik line did not hold out and it leaked in my arm, that hurt when they put that dye in for sure,

Plastic surgeon, well my regular surgeon not only admitted that she should have removed all of the breast but now is 98 % sure i have cancer back and not only in one breast but both, so she set up a appointment with a plastic surgeon,

IF this MRi turns out the way she is thinking it is going to i will be having both breast removed, and she set up a appointment with the plastic surgeon for reconstruction, after talking with the plastic i have decided that if it comes to that point i am going to have reconstructive surgery from my own body, no implants, after all i would not want to give myself cancer would i ? LOL

so i will be having lipo from my stomach after a while and and molded into the breast area, what sides do ya think DDD"S?? lol NO just kidding

will be c's the same as now, well i guess another way to look at all this is if i have to have it done i will be getting a smaller stomach while i am at it LOL

ok ok i know bad joke, but it is better then crying, i am trying to handle this the best way i can, and i guess ya know things that hurt rather then cry i try hard to joke about it, :)

I did not tell anyone of these appointments today well for a few difference reasons, #1 i needed to let it stink into my own head,

#2 really did not know how to tell anyone,

#3 everyone has their own issues, 'i just need to do somethings for myself

and i guess i am also trying to let it really sink in, and i do not want people getting all upset, if i do not let myself to be that way noone needs to get that way either,

I know and Everyone else knows this was going to be a rough road ahead

but hey do not lose hope yet cause the fat woman has not sung yet :)