Went to the heart doctor today, he said he wants to put the heart on the back burner as it is the least of my worries at this point, he said my valves need to be changed but right now with everything else that is going on it is better to leave it be, i will go back in 6 months.
I am feeling like i need to get the hell outta here right now at this moment,
life kinda sucks,
I have so many thoughts going through my head right now, so many,
i can't get the music loud enough to hear it through all the thoughts in my head,
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF EVERYTHING!!!!
I wish all these thoughts i have in my head would get lost,
hell why can't i forget them like i forget everything else,
like i forget where my doctors offices are, hmmmmm yeah had to go to 3 different places before i found my heart doctor today, even though i was just there 2 weeks ago and many other times,
finally i found it in the 3rd building i went to, lol,
all fooling aside i think they need to check my head and see where my marble have gone,
I LOST MY JAR TOO :)
the feelings i have in my head and all the things going around in my head really are driving me crazy!
i have this dream all the time lately that i just get in my car and leave and go where noone knows me, and stay there, if only i could leave this body behide :)
does not sound half bad does it?? lol
there has to be more to life then this, this hurry up and wait shit drives me nuts,
i wish for once someone would just do it, get it done with, and what ever happens, happens,
i really feel as though i am going to crack up maybe i already am,
sometimes i just do not want to be here anymore, to many things going wrong in this body wish i could trade it in for a new one, lol
what the hell are all these feelings i am having why are they here i do not understand, hell i do not understand anything anymore,
and am really sick of trying to understand, at times .wow got to get off here and out of this house before i continue to freak out as i am right now, i am going for a ride,
1 comments:
Its fear, that makes you want to run. I know because it does that to me too. It will be better. I promise. We will figure this all out. I'll get you some more marbles, shiney ones. : ) you will get away... your comming here... and i promise youll have fun... we'll go drinking and ride that bike car at the beach agian... this time I wont wear flip flops so my feet will stay on the pedals. : )
Post a Comment