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Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sunday Oct 11, 2009 10 pm

Been a while since i have put anything in here,
been a longggg month, and still feeling like shit,
so many thing the doctors find not even sure what to blame all this on anymore,
just know i feel worse then i have in a very long time,
I am hoping for some answers on thursday or before,
my doctor does not want me to return to work, and i really do not feel like it but think i am going to try my old ways for a while and ignore the hurting things and all that is making me feel so damn shitty and push through it like i use to,
it can only do 1 of 2 things, either i will get through it or it will put me flat on my butt again, not that i am really been off my back for a while now,
try to do anything and have to lay down or a while, NOT THE LIFE I WANT,
as matter of fact hate it, see what my doctor says about the results of talking to my lung doctor,
I have NEVER been a person to lay down during the day time not even as a kid,
now i can not seem to stay up, i really hate it, and really hate feeling this way something has to give,

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